U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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