I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think I am morally bankrupt
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
