They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
