my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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