Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
