No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
