Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Help. Why am I so naked?
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