i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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