dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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