Nicole vs. Life
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
