we have officially lost it.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize