This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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