How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
