I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
