That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
