hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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