so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
