I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize