Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
