Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
