Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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