yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Pappa wants mamma naked
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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