just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
