if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Acid is not a monday night drug
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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