So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wish you could order shots online.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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