everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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