That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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