I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize