Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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