I love black thongs
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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