the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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