soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize