i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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