She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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