Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
