i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
