I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My vagina is very pro this idea
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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