I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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