Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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