So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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