For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
