So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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