Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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