It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Sorry my hands just texted you
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
