Someone shit on the floor
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
