i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
