fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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