Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
