Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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