Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
