Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
