I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
ok first of all what the fuck
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
