Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Bring me that man meat
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
