okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
