If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just got carded by a ten year old.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
