I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The feeling are messing with the penis
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
