she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Randomize