so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
