Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
