I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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