Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The beers last night were like the tears from god
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
