Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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