you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
