People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
