4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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